一位初任教師的怨與願——教師角色認同轉化的自我敘說

Abstract

本研究採自我敘說法，探究身為初任教師的我，在師資培育初期而產生的失落與怨懟，如何隨著教師專業發展與教育視野的開拓，逐步化怨成願，並在個人與社會交織的脈絡中形塑更穩健的教師角色認同。研究關注三大焦點：（1）從「初任教師」的角度出發，剖析自身教師專業發展歷程中的經驗與挑戰。（2）透過教師專業發展歷程中的關鍵故事，探究個人教師角色認同的轉化歷程。（3）在故事呈現的經驗與挑戰中，進而分析影響教師角色認同轉化的相關因素。本研究的主要分析資料包含自我文本與檔案文件資料。自我文本的建構是先透過「重要故事分期簡表」勾勒不同生涯階段的關鍵故事，並輔以生活札記、教學紀錄、省思札記、教學錄影、專業成長檔案等文件資料，捕捉不同時期我對教師角色認同的思考與展現。最後，從課程與教學實踐、師生關係、教師自我定位三面向，歸納專業發展歷程中的經驗與挑戰，並剖析教師角色認同的轉化歷程及影響因素。本研究發現，在初任教師的教師專業發展歷程中呈現出多重經驗與挑戰：一、教育實習是從學生角色過渡到教師角色的關鍵時期，但期待落差限制了教師專業發展。二、現實震撼導致的挫敗與自我懷疑，經過專業進修與心態調整，將困境轉化為專業成長的契機。三、初期受結構性問題所困而有所埋怨，隨著教育信念逐步重建，逐步在挑戰與張力中確立教育實踐的方向。透過敘說分析，我的教師角色認同的轉化歷程可分為三個階段：一、困繭階段：專注於教師的教與學科專業知識，是想教好的課程忠實實踐者。二、潛藏階段：開始關注教與學之間的雙向互動，是以教學為思考的課程發展者。三、破繭階段：隨著專業累積與視野拓展，逐步轉化為引導學生學習的陪伴者。而在影響角色認同轉化的因素方面，研究發現：一、在教師尚未發展出自我的教師角色認同時，外部環境是主要影響力，負向經驗與個人思維限制了內在認同。二、內在反思與專業知能的累積是教師角色認同轉化的核心動力，使教師逐步覺察外部環境可能帶來的影響與限制。三、將內在積累轉化為具體的教育實踐，與外部環境互動協進，在內外交織之中發展更穩健的教師角色認同。 根據研究結論，本研究分別針對不同面向提供具體建議。在師資培育機構方面，建議有二：（1）讓師培生有更多實務現場的觀課機會，在與專家教師交流中深化專業知能。（2）強化實習教師與初任教師專業成長的輔導支持系統，讓教師在專業發展的初期階段不再孤軍奮戰。 在初任教師個人的心態與行動方面，建議有三：（1）現實震撼是必經之路，每一位教師在教育專業發展初期，都應不斷釐清自己的核心關懷與信念，並提升自我覺察與反思的能力。（2）教育實習是發展教師角色認同的重要階段，可慎選獲得教育實習績優獎的典範學校。（3）教師角色認同身受所處的環境影響，鼓勵教師主動探索多元教育場域，尋找與理念契合的環境。在未來相關研究建議方面，建議有三：（1）在自我敘說的同時，亦透過訪談重要他人，幫助研究者看見不同情境中的自己。（2）與其他初任教師共同敘說，更廣泛地探究教師專業發展經歷與場域環境如何影響教師角色認同的發展。（3）邀請讀者檢核，協助覺察過於主觀的敘說，亦避免自說自話。以上建議供參，希冀能為初任教師以及教師角色認同轉化的相關研究帶來助益。This study employs a self-narrative approach to explore my experiences as a novice teacher during the early stages of teacher training, focusing on the feelings of loss and resentment that arose. It examines how, through professional development and the expansion of educational perspectives, these negative emotions gradually transformed into positive aspirations. Additionally, it considers how, within the interconnected contexts of personal and social influences, a more resilient teacher identity was shaped. The study focuses on three main aspects: (1) analyzing my experiences and challenges in the process of professional development from the perspective of a novice teacher; (2) examining the transformation of my teacher role identity through critical incidents during my professional journey; and (3) identifying the factors that influenced this identity transformation, as revealed through the narratives of these experiences and challenges. The primary data comprise self‐generated texts and documentary records. Self-texts were constructed by outlining key life‐stage narratives using a “Critical‐Incident Timeline,” supplemented by daily journals, teaching logs, reflective notes, video recordings, and professional portfolios, capturing evolving reflections and enactments of my teacher role identity. Finally, this study synthesized experiences and challenges across three dimensions — curriculum and instructional practice, teacher-student relationships, and self‐positioning — to delineate the trajectory and determinants of identity transformation. This study found that novice teachers face various challenges throughout their professional development:1.The teaching internship is a critical period for transitioning from the role of a student to that of a teacher; however, inconsistent intership quality and contexts limit the cultivation of professional development.2.Initial reality shock of entering the teaching field leads to frustration and self-doubt, yet through professional growth and mindset adjustments, these become opportunities for professional development.3.In the early stages, structural challenges can cause resentment, but as educational beliefs are gradually reconstructed, novice teachers gradually clarify their educational direction amid ongoing tensions. Through narrative analysis, the transformation of my teacher role identity can be divided into three stages:1.Cocoon Stage: Focused on the teacher's teaching and subject matter expertise, serving as a faithful practitioner of well-designed curricula. 2.Latent Stage: Beginning to pay attention to reciprocal interactions between teaching and learning, evolving into a curriculum developer who considers teaching as a central element. 3.Emergent Stage: With accumulated professionalism and broadened perspectives, gradually transforming into a mentor who guides and supports students' learning. Regarding the factors influencing the transformation of role identity, the study found:1.External environment dominates before internal identity formation; negative experiences and rigid mindsets limit initial self‐recognition.2.Internal reflection and professional development drive the transformation of teacher role identity, heightening awareness of potential impacts and external influences.3.Integration of reflection into practice fosters dynamic interaction with the surrounding environment contributes to the formation of a more stable and resilient teacher role identity within a complex interplay of internal reflections and external contexts. Based on the study's conclusions, concrete suggestions are provided for various aspects. For teacher training institutions, two recommendations are given: (1) Offer pre-service teachers more practical classroom observation opportunities to enhance their professional knowledge through dialogue with experienced teachers; (2) Enhance support systems for student and novice teachers to ensure they receive guidance during early professional development. For novice teachers' mindset and actions, three recommendationsare given: (1) Accept reality shock as inevitable and continuously clarify core beliefs while enhancing self-awareness and reflective abilities; (2) The teaching practicum is a vital phase for shaping a teacher's role identity. It's advisable to carefully select exemplary schools that have won awards for outstanding practicum performance; (3) Actively explore diverse educational settings to find environments that align with personal teaching philosophies. Three suggestions are proposed for future research: (1) Complement self-narratives with interviews of significant others to gain diverse perspectives on the self in different contexts; (2) Collaborate with other novice teachers in narrative inquiryto deepen understanding of how professional experiences and environmental factors shape teacher role identity; (3) Involve external readers in reviewing the narratives to enhance analytical sensitivity and reduce potential subjectivity. These suggestions aim to aid novice teachers and enrich scholarship on teacher role identity transformation.